After an Affair: My Husband’s Side of the Story

Two Sided BookI asked my husband to write about his side of the story as it came to our marital problems.  The following post was written by my husband:

My Side of the Story

I was surprised recently when my wife, Monica, asked me if I would be comfortable writing a post for one of her blogs about what I went through personally after her infidelity came to light.  My answer was quick and to the point, “Hell no I am not comfortable writing anything for one of your blogs.”

I quickly realized my tone was short and could be construed as harsh, so I decided to elaborate.   “You have to realize I still sometimes feel like that whole period in our marriage was like a bad dream.” “There are days where I look at you and think for the life of me how could someone who I’ve known since she was sixteen years old let herself get to a place where she would throw both of our lives away without talking to me.”

I don’t want to come off sounding bitter because I’m not.  There is no one on this earth, including my wife, who I will let make me live bitter.  Not to mention I wouldn’t be writing this if I was biter, but since I am much more in tune with Monica’s feelings than I used to be, I realize just how important this was to her.  I just hate that our marriage got to the point that it did, and I hate that I didn’t see it until it was way too late.

I am a worker.  If there is nothing else I know about myself, I know that I am a worker.  I like working.  I take pride in putting the same level of quality work into my yard as I do my job.  Its who I am and I have always been this way.  I was going to work after baseball practice when Monica and I first met in high school.

That being said, I can sometimes get lost in my work.  I will sometimes push to finish a job, and make it home after my son has gone to sleep.  I have really worked to make sure those instances only happen when absolutely necessary, but before our problems came to light those instances were happening more than they should have been.

Things started to spiral out of control in Monica’s head when an old friend I used to work with was hired at my current employer.  My old friend is an attractive woman who I’ve known nearly as long as I’ve know my wife.  Monica and I broke up for a little while, at that time my friend and I went on a couple of dates. Continue reading After an Affair: My Husband’s Side of the Story